“That felt incredible,” I say, making wide eyes at myself in the mirror.
“You’ve exceeded my expectations,” says Dr Kaspara.
I glance at her reflection; she’s perched on my makeup chair just behind me, reading a review of my show in a magazine.
“Why do you sound surprised?” I say.
“Oh, I’m not surprised,” she says. “The appetites of the general public can be efficiently manipulated to suit any taste. But your show has really gone into outer space.”
I start to remove my suit, “I feel amazing. I feel reborn”
“You have been reborn, technically.”
I finish my fruit juice and put on my bathrobe, “I’ll just shower quickly. Then we can go out to dinner.”
“If you like.”
“Ernesto’s?”
“Suitable enough.”
“I’ll get Syd to phone.”
The shower feels great and I allow my adrenaline to subside in the soap and steam. I thought I’d never be able to cope with the fame but I’m well protected by The Network and Dr Kaspara watches over me with maternal affection. I feel physically numb still, but not quite as often. Things that used to be in the back of mind are now no longer to be felt or hidden from. I dress in my favourite black velvet three-piece and I meet Syd to walk with me to the car.
“Can you call Ernesto’s?”
“Already taken care of, Mr Vaughan,” she says, matching my pace.
“Thanks. You saw the Doctor then?”
“She told me to let you know she’ll meet you there.”
“Fine. So what are you doing with yourself, Syd?”
“Visiting my nan.”
“Is she sick?”
“Yes.”
“Give her a photo and I’ll sign it for her.”
“Thanks, Mr Vaughan.”
We reach the back doors where my two minders, Ronan and Eddie are waiting. They get me through the modest crowd of fans who have been patiently waiting for me and I make it into my limo. I sit back and let Karl drive me to the restaurant. I am desperately hungry now and can’t wait to relax in Ernesto’s, which has recently become my favourite place to eat. I’m addicted to chicken pepperoni.
“It’s so delightful to see you again, Mr Vaughan,” says Ernesto, shaking my hand vigorously.
“Watch the fingernails, Ernesto.”
“Please, I have your table.”
I follow Ernesto through the immaculate and glassy restaurant to the usual raised eyebrows and utterances. I sit by the window and look out over the illuminated roof terrace. The time is 9.31pm. I sip red wine slowly and slow my heartbeat down to the gentlest of taps. Four different diners request my autograph and I oblige them. It’s easier to sign my famous name than my real name, which now that everything has changed, I’m not sure I still remember.
Dr Kaspara arrives at 10.19pm. I request a fresh bottle of wine.
“What kept you?” I ask.
“Urgent meeting with The Network,” she says, getting herself comfortable opposite me.
“You seem a little flustered.”
“It’s nothing. It’s just been a long day.”
Our drinks poured, she sits back and seems to relax.
“I want more,” I say.
“More wine?”
“More television time. I want bigger shows.”
“It’s a process, Merlin. Everything is on track.”
“I have ideas.”
“And in due course you’ll be able to put them out there.”
“I don’t have much patience sometimes.”
“The Network have got a new show they want you to do.”
“I want a chat show.”
“In time. They think it’s best if you stay within the game show format for the time being.”
“I feel like I’ve been hosting Great Contenders for centuries.”
“This one you’ll really like.”
“What is it?”
“It’s called Who’s Gorgeous? and it’s a no-holds-barred gameshow where celebrities give personal critiques on the looks and shapes of members of the general public. The contestant with the best verdicts gets the prize, plus they have to release a single, whether they possess any talent or not. The country will lap it up.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“They will if we tell them to.”
We eat and I try and work out this new show in my head. What I really want is a chat show. There are so many people I want to meet. I need to speak to Audrey and tell her I did nothing wrong.
“Why did I feel so close to you?” I say after a while.
“I look after you. I’ve shaped you, watched you grow. It’s only natural.”
“I suppose so.”
“Syd is very fond of you.”
“She is?”
“She’s young though, Merlin. Fresh out of uni.”
“I know.”
“So if you’ve got any ideas along those lines, I need to know so we can get a contingency plan in order. She is an insider, after all.”
“It takes some of the fun out of it.”
“You’re fast becoming our most valuable commodity, Merlin. You need to be ring-fenced.”
“I doubt Syd is the kiss-and-tell type.”
“The scent of money changes people. You should know that.”
Our eyes lock momentarily. I do know that.
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